How To Be Present With Pain
“It’s hard, just suck it up and accept it.”
An easy statement to make when you’re sitting on the sidelines watching the game.
It’s not so easy to do when you’re the one rolling in the mud. Hurting. Tired. Angry. Forgotten and alone.
The conversation then becomes this… how do you push aside all that pain and carry on when you really want to quit, without sucking it up and pretending you’re not hurting?
Being present with whatever weird situation you’re in, no matter how physically or emotionally painful, is the ultimate challenge. That’s exactly what you need to do. Look at what you’re afraid of, or whatever you’re facing, right in the eye. Don’t even waver. Watch it, without allowing it to become your identity. Feel it, without becoming those feelings.
It’s extremely powerful when you no longer look to your circumstances, your challenges, to define yourself. You get to choose how you show up to each and every obstacle life places in your path. Be the person who doesn’t even flinch, or if you do, don’t let it make you run. Don’t allow it to shut you down.
Here are a few ways to be present when you want to avoid facing the beast in front of you.
LAUGH WHEN IT’S INAPPROPRIATE
They say “You’ll laugh when you look back on this”. Laugh now, don’t wait. Find something to joke about. Let the tension out. Laugh when other people think you shouldn’t. This is part of processing the emotions that come from handling incredibly intense situations. I have been kicked out of stores and glared at in hospitals. But you know what? The alternative is so much darker.
STOP RUSHING
Running around and focusing endlessly on the next to-do list item is a form of distraction. Slow down enough to notice what is around you; both the heartbreaking and the good. Observe both and, in doing so, appreciate how rich the diversity of this life experience truly is. You only get to go through this once. Enjoy both sides of the experience because you came here to live through all of it.
ELIMINATE DISTRACTION
Distraction is extremely destructive. It will rob you of your dreams, energy, momentum, focus, feelings. Identify when you reach for it, observe which forms it takes and use it sparingly. Lessons ignored become lessons repeated in your future until life is satisfied that you have grown substantially enough that you don’t need to go through it again.
FEEL IT
Be present with every emotion and physical sensation that arises in every moment. This is a practice that will ebb and flow as you live and that’s normal. Practice allowing yourself to feel things you may have choked down in the past. Guilt, jealousy, anger, grief and sadness are all trying to tell you something. They aren’t enemy, they're only carriers of information. Ride each wave as it comes and enjoy this part of the human experience, no matter how difficult it gets.
FOCUS ON ONE THING
When you are facing what’s impossible, the only way through is to believe it is actually possible and direct your focus to finding a creative solution. Always place that focus on what you want to take from a situation or how you would like to use to build you. Even the darkest times can be used to your advantage, I promise you. Leverage your darkness. Embrace your power. Use your focus to drive you forward towards something better.
Find peace in the thought that this life is a totally novel experience for you and, being temporary, one that will pass. Sit with every moment because this only happens once and you never know when it will be your time to exit this place. Each moment you’re presented with you can never get back. The hardest times will pass into light, the best times will recede into darkness. This is the endless evolution of growth, the path we are all on. You never can experience this life or these exact circumstances again. Enjoy it while it’s here, no matter how difficult or tragic.
Laugh more. Smile when it’s hardest. Most of all, be extremely proud of yourself.
You’ve made it this far.
You’re worth love. Strength. Dignity. Support.
If you don’t believe that right now, change your thinking until you do.
We’re all here for a very short time.
Let’s take life a little less seriously and do more that makes us happy, being present with every single moment in between.
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