Driving Yourself To Do Hard Things

It’s the hard thing that gets procrastinated on, day after day.

The heavy feeling that pushes you further into the couch.

The doubt in your mind that makes you not want to leave bed in the morning.

It’s not knowing if you’re good enough, strong enough, driven enough, or have a chance of winning this battle at all.

After battling my own demons, I can tell you that you’re never going to know if you can get through the hard things unless you tackle them straight on.

In short, do what is difficult.

Comfort doesn’t build character or grow you into a better person. It will never teach you the lessons you came here to learn, or put you in situations you never thought you could handle… until you did. Comfort, while endlessly persuasive, will never result in fulfillment or true contentment. Unless, that is, it’s enjoyed in those moments between forward pushes.

After all, recharge still has to happen. The proverbial axe has to be sharpened if it’s expected to keep cutting wood.

That said, human beings are creatives and a lack of focusing your creative energy towards your dreams will result in stagnancy, which spirals into lack of self confidence, motivation and happiness. Stagnancy feels heavy.

No dream worth having is easy, so learn how to keep moving forward when it gets tough. Tough can fuel you.

Hard actions honour what we love.

One week ago today, I had the honour of burying Roxy, my Mom’s best friend. It was hard, backbreaking work that took 7 hours for the two of us. It was raw and beautiful and full of tears and laughs and heartfelt reflection. We had moments alone to sit with reality for a while. In the end, we were exhausted but our hearts were full in a broken but satisfied way.

Would taking her body to the vet have been easier?

Yes.

Would cremation have been easier?

Yes.

Would using heavy machinery to dig the grave have been easier?

Yes.

But it wouldn’t have honoured her the same way. It wouldn’t have given her the goodbye my mom felt she deserved, one which reflected so perfectly the years of service and love she had given all of us. There is also nothing that serves as therapy quite like that raw process of physical labour on the journey of saying goodbye. What’s hard on the body helps to heal the heart.

So, we did the hard thing.

Doing what’s hard demands emotional presence. This is one of the reasons that it’s easy to convince ourselves that avoiding it is better. Easier is better, but easier doesn't give you a chance to spread your wings and learn who you are inside.

If you’re facing something tough, this will help you move forward.

Focus on Why

What’s your underlying motivation?

This answer will fuel you when motivation runs out and discipline has to take over. Motivation will not always be there. Discipline will. It takes practice, but the more opportunities you give yourself to be emotionally vulnerable with the process, the easier it’s going to be to drive yourself into temporary discomfort. Discipline means feeling what’s uncomfortable when you don’t feel like feeling it. This is why your reason for doing something becomes the ultimate driver.

Focus on Who

Who are you becoming? Who do you want to become through this process?

Understanding that doing hard things is a process to becoming a new version of yourself, of levelling up in your life, will serve to open your mind and heart to the opportunity that lies in every hardship, in every struggle. Not only will there be transformation, but it also means acknowledging that this too shall pass. This challenge will end and when it does, you will be a new person.

Focus on Feeling

When you complete a difficult phase of growth, or task on a project, there is a reward. Several, in fact. Dopamine is one. You will have changed something in your life and your mind reacts in the form of chemical reward that comes after completion. The more you push to do your best, the better the reward. There is nothing more rewarding than bringing about a change in your life you have been craving to build. Again, we are creative beings not built for ease or stagnancy.

It’s all about your focus.

Your focus dictates your experience. If you’re focused on how hard and uncomfortable it will be, or is while you’re in the trenches, it will hurt more. But if you embrace the discomfort as character building, and look forward to the rewards, the process will be a completely different experience. Whatever you focus on, you give your power to. Practice guiding your focus as you move through difficult tasks.

These are the habits we want to build.

Pushing yourself to do hard things is a skill the world is forgetting. Instead, it generally encourages you to steer clear of uncomfortable emotions and difficult times.

I say jump in with both feet.

Hardship alone will show you what you’re capable of and give you some powerful memories with those around you who share this experience.

You were never meant to live life on the sidelines, but the big show will always demand more of you than you think you can give. Give it anyway, for the sake of your values, your dreams and the person you want to become in the future.

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If you’re interested in going deeper on how to take your power back and live an empowered life, check out the TRM© program. Thrive in adversity and master the art of being human.