Loss & Grief
Among the most excruciating feelings to sit with is the gutting loss of someone you love most.
Death takes all of us. Inevitably, life and love cost us something… the obligation of saying goodbye.
To give ourselves to love, by opening a closed heart to fully experience the power of loving another, while knowing that it comes with pain, is pure vulnerability. Living life this way takes strength. It’s the practice of constantly opening when you want to close. It’s taking a chance on loving a person with your whole heart. It’s loving an animal, an energy so innocent and pure, knowing you will have to say goodbye one day because their life goes by faster than yours. It’s allowing life into your soul and understanding it’s meant to hurt as well as make you feel intensely alive.
Last weekend, we said goodbye to one of the greatest dogs I have ever known. She was a warrior who had braved her abusive days as a fighting dog and learned to love again after her rescue. She taught us how to love and endure. She was everything.
And now she’s gone. It’s a gutting goodbye.
So how do you sit with loss and the process of grieving after it happens? I don’t know everything, but I do know this:
My hardest and darkest times manifested when I fought against grief, sadness and pain.
My most powerful-beyond-words experiences happened when I gave my whole self to it.
Pain can’t be avoided, nor can hard times, and neither should be an excuse to never open yourself to love or happiness. It’s easy to avoid feeling good simply because it might get taken away from you.
The greatest way through grief and times of loss is raw openness and pure presence with how much it hurts. Feel the sorrow, the emptiness, the pain that memories bring back as you get reminded of the times you spent together. As pain shreds you, it shows you who you are inside. Who you are underneath all the emotions. It shows you… YOU.
That calm place of strength and love that can endure all else.
The best thing you can do for yourself is avoid the temptation of shoving that tidal wave of grief down to a place you don’t feel it anymore. Life hurts, but you’re build to withstand it. As they say, the only way out is through.
In all things seek gratitude, for that is what you’re made of. After a goodbye, your grief only happens in proportion to the depth of love you experienced. If you have lost someone whose departure left you feeling like you’re unable to cope with their absence, understand that is a reflection of your love for them, your times with them and all the great memories you made together. There are so many people in this world who aren’t lucky enough to have someone in their lives they love to that degree. Many people don’t experience love.
The soul chooses its time in divine coordination with heaven.
Be grateful for the love you feel and cherish every moment together right now. Be present. Life is a fleeting experience. When it ends, appreciate the pain that comes with it if you’re the one grieving. Pain lets you feel alive.
One of my favourite pieces of advice is this: Death is the only thing that makes life safe.
Be aware of death but not afraid of it. Love with your whole heart, understanding that an end to that is natural as well. Life is meant to be lived raw and intimate with every experience. Allow this richness in.
In all this turmoil and pain, it’s still a beautiful life. Whatever you’re carrying right now, remember this… there is no timeline on healing. Stay strong.
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If you’re interested in going deeper on how to take your power back and live an empowered life, check out the TRM© program. Thrive in adversity and master the art of being human.
Rest in peace, Roxy 🖤 Thank you for your love and protection. We will miss you forever.
